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Types of Parentification

Being parentified is common in many cultures, as there is a level of expectation for children to help the family. To help parentified children, knowing the type of parentification helps you to intervene more effectively.  The type of parentification matters greatly in terms of its impact on the child's mental health. There are two types or of parentification: adaptive and destructive . These two types rest along a continuum:

 

Adaptive parentification:

  • an alignment between the tasks and the child's developmental age.

  • child is tasked with more concrete tasks (such as cooking, cleaning, taking care of their younger siblings) that are easier to carry out than emotional support to their parent.

  • the child's perception of the tasks as being fair.

  • culturally supported within the family.

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​The other type of parentification is destructive. Destructive forms are more likely to be associated with distress and seen in treatment settings. This type crosses the line and for some children can be traumatic. 

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Destructive parentification:

  • excessive tasks that are more emotionally-based (being support system for the parent, being the peacemaker, being the parent's confidant).

  • the duration of the parentification is long, with no end in sight.

  • little or no familial support given to the child.

  • the child perceives the tasks as fair.  

  • the child misses out on developmentally appropriate activities.

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Factors That Impact the Course of Parentification 

There is a wide range of impacts that a child may experience due to parentification. Several factors influence the trajectory of being parentified. How children respond to parentification depends on these factors:

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Type of Parentification:

The types of tasks that the child has to do may impact how they experience parentification. Engaging in concrete tasks is considered easier for the child, and associated with more positive outcomes than providing emotional support to their parent. 

Time/Duration:

The shorter the time frame that the child has to assume the adult responsibilities, the less negative impact. 

Culture:

Collectivistic cultures in which there is an expectation that children help out mitigate the negative impact of parentification.

Perception:

Children who perceive that the tasks are fair tend to do better overall.

Acknowledgement:

Children who receive their parent's acknowledgement for their work manage better.

Sibling support:

Children who receive support from their siblings feel less overwhelmed and alone.

R speaks to the tasks and responsibilities that she had to do as a result of both her parents having to work multiple jobs.

Key Points:

  • Two types of parentification rest along the continuum: adaptive and destructive.

  • Factors that impact the trajectory of the parentification experience include: the type, how long it lasts, the cultural expectation of the child to contribute, perception of fairness by the child, parental recognition for their contribution, and the extent of support they receive from their sibling.

  • Parentified children are at increased risk when the family enters a period of loss or crisis.

Returning to Casey: Tasks and Factors

Casey has to cook and take care of her younger brother who is 7 years old. She helps him with his homework, gets him ready for school in the mornings, cooks for the both of them, makes sure he takes his bath, and helps him get ready for bed at night.  Casey knows that she has to help out and loves her brother, but feels overwhelmed that there does not seem to be an end in sight with taking care of him.  Casey knows her mother does appreciate her, as her mother does acknowledge the work that Casey is doing.

 

Casey usually talks to her mother and tries to be supportive of her when she knows that her mother has had a particularly stressful day. She refrains from talking about her own feelings, for fear of upsetting her mother. Her mother never spoke of her father. Her mother never had the heart to get rid of his personal belongings, so the house remained as it exactly was when he died with constant reminders of him everywhere. Casey had the sense that it was not okay for her to talk about her father. She also does not speak of her deceased grandmother, for fear of making her mother sad.

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