top of page

Causes of Destructive Parentification

In trying to help a parentified child struggling with mental health issues, it is important as a counselor to have a better understanding as to why parentification happens. Multiple factors can contribute  to parentification of a child. These factors can vary from family to family. Each parentified child will have their own unique constellation of factors. Understanding the source of parentification will help guide the treatment approach. Key areas to assess include:

  • family dynamics,

  • parental vulnerabilities and economic stressors, and

  • cultural practices. ​

Family Dynamics: Blurred Boundaries and Roles

A major contributing factor in destructive parentification is the blurring of the boundaries between parent and child. These parents are more likely to have experienced some adverse and traumatic experiences in their childhood that negatively shaped their own sense of self- worth.  Parents who themselves have their own attachment insecurities may look towards their children for support if they are anxious or avoidant, and may not seek external support at all. These parents may have been parentified themselves and now feel consciously or unconsciously that it is their turn to be supported by their children. Sometimes when a marital relatinship is strained, a parent may elevate a child into a pseudo partner role. The roles become disrupted and reversed, and the child has to maintain the family system.

10
11
8

Parental Vulnerabilities and Economic Stressors

Parentified children are found in lower socioeconomic households where there is a disruption to the family unit.  The disruption may occur due to external factors that may cause temporary or permanent physical removal or incapacitation of a parent. The disruption creates a gap for one or both parents so that they are unable to fulfill their caregiving responsibilities. Families with fewer resources often rely on household members to fill the gap. This necessitates the child stepping into an adult role. As a counselor working with these parentified children, it is important to see how the environment impacts the degree to which they are parentified. ​Some examples of common pathways that increase parentification are listed below.  

9
6

  • Single parent  household, divorce or separation

  • Incarceration of a parent

  • Death of a parent

Absence of Adult Presence

Relational Dynamics

  • Domestic violence

  • Migration

Adult Impairment

  • Parental medical or mental health  struggles

  • Parental physical or intellectual disabilities

  • Parental substance use

 12

Cultural Practices

Lastly, parentification takes place across all cultures. However, there are higher reports of children engaging in culturally supported caregiving roles from certain cultures, such as those from Africa, Asia, and Latin American backgrounds. Certain collectivistic cultures within the United States  emphasize the interconnectedness of family members and the value placed on focusing on the family's needs taking priority over individual needs. Some of these expectations resulted from necessity to cope and deal with discrimination and poverty. Culture can therefore influence the type of parentification that the child experiences. It is still important to distinguish between culturally and developmentally appropriate tasks from those that are atypical tasks for that child, 

13

"R" discusses the factors that led to her assuming adult tasks. 

Key Points:

  • Three causes of parentification include: family boundaries (blurred boundaries and roles), parental vulnerabilities and economic stressors, and cultural practices.

  • It is important to assess family dynamics and stressors, parental vulnerabilities, economic stressors, and cultural practices.

  • Identifying the type of parentification will shape how you work with the case.

Returning to Casey: Causes

Casey is a quiet, shy girl, who grew up in a chaotic household with a father who physically abused her mother. Her father passed away due to an overdose four years ago. She and her younger brother did not attend the funeral because their mother thought that it would be too much for them as they were 6 and 3 years old at the time. Her mother had to work multiple jobs after that.

 

Casey's grandmother used to watch Casey and her younger brother when Casey's mother worked. Casey's grandmother passed away a little less than a year ago, and since then Casey has had to take care of the household. 

 

Casey and her mother were always close, with her mother calling her, "my best friend". Her mother did not have many friends, and as a result, would talk to Casey as if she was a mini-adult, sharing her fears and anxieties.

bottom of page